Healing Of The Heart
by DamnULulu
Summary: 4 Years after Edward leaves in NM. Bella is at her last year at Dartmouth when she runs into Jasper. He tries to pick up the pieces that Edwards left. But can he when his own heart is broken too? Old acquaintances comes back. Is there a happily ever after
1. Chapter 1

**(AN: This is my first FF, but don't run away because of that XD)**

Takes place after Edward leaves in NW  
About 4 years later  
Bella is in Dartmouth studying literature, other classes is history, which she loves, and psychology.  
Angela and Bella are friends, Bellas only friend. And not Jacob, who imprinted on Leah (Man I hate that couple)

BPOV

_Shit, shit, SHIT! _It's the first day of my last year in Dartmouth and I FUCKING overslept!

I quickly got dressed, grasped my laptop and books and started running towards class (Thank God I'm not a klutz anymore, apparently major heart break does that to you…. Or maybe I just grew up)

I just sat down at the first chair I saw, not seeing who was sitting next to me.

I smiled ___apologetically_ at the professor who was frowning at me. Great. I bet he just loves me now.

While taking out my things the professor continued talking about the civil war, luckily I had read many books on the subject so I caught up easily.

About ten minutes later the professor stopped talking and looked directly in my direction and said acidly "Mr. Whitlock if you're done starring at Ms. Swan I suggest you take some notes if you hope

to pass this class" … Wait, did he just say 'Whitlock'? Why does that sound so familiar?

Way too familiar. Realization made my heart go wild; if it beat any faster it just might beat its way out. NO! There are probably a lot of other people with that surname, right?

Yeah, 'cause it's a very common last name.(sarcasm?) Shit this is not going to work.

Slowly I turned my head and barely registering the professor started talking again 'cause next to me was a God in cowboy boots! Curly honey blond hair that looked so soft that you just want

to run your fingers through it. Had he always looked this beautiful?

Or was I just blinded by my stupidity back then. He had the most beautiful eyes that almost looked golden in this light.

They looked nothing like Edw... _his_ eyes. "Jasper?" I asked before I could stop myself.

His expression reminded me of a deer caught in the headlights. But surely Alice must have warned him about this.

Just thinking her name coursed the hole inside me to rip open again, the one that I had sealed years ago. Closing my eyes I turned away from him, trying desperately to close the hole.

I managed to close it after several minutes and several of long deep breaths. T

he rest of the class passed in a blur, I had enough to do. Like remember to breathe.

And fighting the urge to run like hell 'cause I sure as hell didn't want them to rip me apart again.

When the class finally ended, Jasper was out of the room before you could say 'SURPRISE'. Déjà vu much?

Taking my things I left and went to my next class constantly looking around for Jasper or any of the Cullens.

No sign of anyone of them. The entire day was like that, go to class, look for the Cullens, go eat, look for the

Cullens, go for a cruise on your bike in hope of getting a glance of the Cullens. Just a glance, I told myself, to

make sure I hadn't started hallucinating… again. I haven't done that since I moved here, or since Jacob

imprinted on Leah. Which was great for him, he was happy now. It's just that Leah and the rest of the pack

turned against me because I was 'The Leech Lover'. Thank you Leah for that name, I thought bitterly as I

parked my bike in my garage. I now lived in a big apartment right next to Dartmouth, so I didn't have so far,

which was really good when you over'god-damn'slept! '_Oh my, someone is bitter today_' an annoying voice

in my head said. And that was it. I was so frustrated, so angry and so fucking scared. Quickly I took a pillow

and covered my mouth and I screamed. Screamed until it felt like my throat would fall apart if you as much

as looked at it. Why did they come here? Or wait, maybe it was just Jasper. No, they wouldn't be far away,

they wouldn't leave each other 'cause families are suppose to love each other and never leave! The huge

hole opened again, only this time I couldn't close it again. I lay on the floor and cried. Cried for everything

that had happened in the past few years. For Edward and the Cullens leaving, Jake leaving, Charlie dying

and Renee not being there, especially after Charlie died. When I finally stopped crying, I just laid there, on

the floor trying not to think. Not to think about what happened today. Shaking my head I got up to get to

bet, even though I doubted I would sleep.

**AN: Okay, that was the first chapter, tell me what you think and if I should continue this story. R/R  
Oh, and if you have any ideas of what should happen next please let me know and I will do my best to put it in. Thank you **

**XOXO DamnULulu**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: Thank you all for the story alerts and reviews. Okay, this chapter is Jasper POV as you can see. I put some humor in this chapter because I was in a silly mood when I wrote this, so don't be too surprised if there is some weird humor in.  
Enjoy.  
XOXO DamnULulu) **

JPOV

"Emmett I got to go, I am going to Dartmouth remember?" I said annoyed, 'cause Emmett had me laying

on the ground while he was sitting on me. "But I want to wrestle!" he whined. "And why don't you just

do what you have done the last few years, take classes online? 'Cause then we could wrestle! And I

would WIN" He added. Rolling my eyes I got up leaving a sad Emmett. That feeling only lasted a few

seconds when Rose came out and said in an innocent helpless voice "Babe, Jasper is leaving us _all_ alone.

What on earth will we do?" I snorted and left before their lust could affect me. The ride took 20 minutes

and as soon I got out of the car I was hit with hundreds of emotions. Angst being the most common, but

excitement is also there. I walked into the classroom five minutes before time, so everybody was already

there. Luckily it was a big room with a lot of chairs and I chose to sit in the back close to one of the doors,

just in case that someone cut themselves. Even though I have excellent control now, I even joined one of

Carlisle operations a few weeks back. But I wanted to be on the safe side. The professor arrived shortly

after and introduced himself as 'Professor Johnson'. Then he started his lecture on the civil war. Rolling

my eyes, I started taking notes. Not that I would need them, but it would look suspicious if I didn't and

still got an A. A few minutes into the lecture a smell of freesias, vanilla and made me look up. I only

knew one human who smelled like that. _Bella_. And there she was, coming to sit right next to me. I don't

think she noticed because she was focused on the seat next to me, and as she sat down I automatically

stopped breathing. The professor frowned when she smiled ___apologetically_ at him, but I only saw her

smile. My god she was beautiful. She was no longer a girl, but a woman. Her hair went down to her waist

and was this beautiful Mahoney colored hair with streaks of red. Her eyes were still amazingly deep, I

could see that even without looking into them. Her face carried no longer trace of childhood, it was _all _

woman. The lower lip of hers was fuller than the upper, but that only made it more desirable. Her skin

was still pale, though now it looked more like my skin. I couldn't even imagine how she would look like

when she was turned. Wait, WHAT? _When_ she was turned! Woah, easy there tiger. She properly hates

me because of what happened on her 18th birthday. _Shit!_ She might start screaming when she sees me

sitting right next to her. "Mr. Whitlock if you're done starring at Ms. Swan I suggest you take some notes

if you hope to pass this class" NO! You stupid senile MAN! She hadn't noticed me here and then you

come and say shit like that!

I focused on her emotions and felt; Disbelief, hope, fear (Well, no big surprise there), hurt and something

more, but what surprised me the most was the undercurrent of pain.

Bella turned her head slowly towards me. I waited for her fear to increase, but of course being Bella

meant doing the opposite, so she threw lots of amounts of lust my way.

Suddenly her undercurrent of pain wasn't just an undercurrent it was everything. ARGH, all I wanted to

do was to lie down and scream! How can she just sit there? How is that even HUMAN possible to feel

that and don't die? And just as quickly as it came, it went back to where she was hiding it.

I was astonished. Never once in my 150 years **(AN: I can't remember when he was turned so I just said **

**150 years XD) **had I ever accounted a human or vampire who felt like that!

She had turned her head away while trying to get her emotions under control. I looked at the professor

now and took notes, so he wouldn't ask to have a word with me after class, I need to get out of here.

Minutes went by _s l o w l y! _But finally the class ended and I was out of there before she could say

anything.

I ran at human pace out to my bike and drove quickly home to Emmett and Rosalie. As soon as I got into

the driveway I yelled for them to come, I didn't want to walk in on them having sex…. Again.

So I went to the backyard "WHAT?" Emmett boomed when he came outside wearing a .. clown suit?

That was one thing I didn't need to know! Rosalie came out right after him wearing a bathrobe. (Thank

God it wasn't a clown suit like Emmett's) Shaking my head I started explaining what happened today in

vampire speed, when I tried to explain the pain I had felt coming from Bella I fell to my knees dry sobbing.

I sat there for god knows how long before the shock faded with both Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie went

back to the house and Emmett asked "Can I see my baby sis?"

Longing and desperation flowed of him. "I don't think it's a good idea Em. We caused her so much pain,

just looking at me made her feel like torture to me, I have no idea of what it must feel like to her.

And I only felt it for a moment." I was about to say something more when I heard Rosalie start her M3.

_CRAP!_ I ran as fast as I could and arrived right before she got out of the garage.

Anger was the biggest emotion she had at the moment. "Move now Jasper" she said in a dangerously low

voice. "I want to see her!" "No" I said trying to keep calm and not let her anger influence me.

"I won't talk to her, I just want to see her!" If Rosalie hadn't confessed in me that she would love to have

Bella as a sister, but was too scared of getting hurt or hurting Bella, I would look at her as if she was crazy.

"No" I repeated. It went on like that for hours and by dawn we finally agreed I would be in Bella's

apartment waiting, when she came home from school. And ask her if she wanted to see us, us meaning

Rose, Em and me.

I found Bella's schedule while Rosalie found her address. Emmett was so full of excitement and hope that

Rosalie sent him hunting to get rid of the bouncing up and down it reminded me of Alice.

And apparently it also reminded Rosalie 'cause when she sent Emmett she said "EMMETT NO SEX FOR A

WEEK IF YOU DON'T STOP BOUNCING UP AND DOWN LIKE FRICKING ALICE! WE JUST GOT RID OF HER.

GO HUNTING!" 'Got rid of her' only Rose would put it like that.

I would call it 'world war 3' and we lost, meaning Emmett, Rosalie and me.

We left for Europe the week after we left Forks. Carlisle and Esme left for Alaska.

Alice and Edward left for God knows where. None of them talks to Carlisle or Esme. We still check in once

a week.

Currently Carlisle is working at a hospital right outside London and Esme is building a new house for

charity, it was for homeless children and she loved every minute of it that's for sure.

Bella's last class ended at 4 p.m.

Until then we just sat and waited. Uncertainty suddenly came over Rosalie; it was a rare feeling coming

from her. "Rose? You okay?" I asked.

She looked at me with unshed tears. "Do you think she'll say yes to meet me and Em? I know she

probably don't want to meet me, but at least Emmett?" Emmett scooted closer to Rose and put his huge

arm around her and pulled her into a hug. But he didn't know what he should say, so he just looked at

me.

I took an unnecessary breath and said "I honestly don't know Rose. Humans change so easily.

And I think Bella has changed from the easily forgiving fragile little human she was, because of the pain

Edward caused her. We can only hope that she'll accept us all."

After that nobody said anything, we just waited. When it finally was 3.30 I got up and left without saying

anything to Rosalie or Emmett, 'cause nothing I could say would leave them less anxious.

The ride to Bellas apartment felt extremely long and boring, but when I finally got there I was surprised.

Her apartment was two stories and with a basement, how could she afford this.

I knew Carlisle had sent her checks over the years, but she never cashed them as far as I knew. Quickly I

broke into her home through a window on the second floor and came into a huge library, with such a

huge selection of books I just stood there, fascinated.

I was brought out of my trace when I heard someone at the front door.

I ran with vampire speed downstairs. It took longer than it should because I had no idea where the stairs

was and when I came downstairs I had the find the front door.

Luckily Bella was too distressed to open the door fast. I chose to sit on one of her chairs, a purple one, I

like purple, **(A/N: LOL XD) **that was faced at the door. _This is it_. I took a breath and then she opened the

door.

**(A/N: SORRY! I know you guys properly hate me by now, but I just wanted a cliffy. ******** Tell me what you think of it. I really want to know if you like this or not. Was the humor okay? Or do you want a totally none humor story? Review and let me know :D ) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update, but I have the flu! I HATE BEING SICK!  
In this chapter we'll hear what's been going on in Bella's life in the past few years. I know some of you are curious and thought "What the Hale?" in chapter one where Bella cried for what had happened. Charlie dying, Jake leaving and so on. And in the 2****nd**** chapter with Bella's economy. But you'll hear what is going on now.  
Enjoy! And please review, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. **

**This chapter is dedicated to May aka Flexii, because you let me be me. I love you sweetie 3**

**XOXO Lulu xD **

BPOV

_OH MY GOD! He is here! In my apartment. Jasper. Wait, how did he come in? _Mentally shaking myself, why did it matter _how_ he came in? It was more important _why_ he was here. Oh no. Please tell me he didn't come to break me like Edward did. Panic started to run through my veins. I can't do this, I can't break again. _BREATHE BELLA! _

I don't want to let anyone break me again. Anger started to replace the panic and just as I was about to yell at him he started talking. "Please Bella, listen to me. I just want to talk. I'll leave the second you say so, but I beg you: Please hear me out first."

When I didn't say anything he continued: "You can always yell at me later?" I nodded and put my books and computer on my coffee table, and then I sat in the chair furthest away from him. Not because I was scared of him, but because I was scared of myself. I would give too easily in if I felt that cold marble skin that I missed so much.

I didn't trust my voice enough so I just looked at him expectantly. He took an unnecessary breath and cleared his throat. I forgot my anger when I saw these human habits, he was nervous! I couldn't help but to find this behavior a bit amusing. Jasper raised an eyebrow. What? Do I have something in my teeth or somethi… _OH SHIT Empath remember Bella? _I took a deep breath, put on a pokerface and hoped I could control my emotions and my voice. "Start talking, 'cause unlike your time, my time is limited." _Damn cold much?_

Jasper nodded and began "First of I want to apologies for attacking you on your 18th birthday" I stopped him there. "Jasper" A thrill went through me by saying his name. "I had four years to think about what happened that night. And I don't blame you. You didn't attack me until doucheward" Ah, so much easier to call _him_ that "pushed me into that table. And besides you could not only feel your own thirst, but six others.

So don't apologies. You acted like a vampire is suppose to act around that much blood. Everybody had to leave, well except Carli.. Your dad. But he has centuries of practice." I was proud of myself for not breaking down or start crying. I was acting like myself, something I didn't think I would be able to. I thought after that first day that I would go back to being weak clumsy Bella and not be my new and improved self. But it looked like I would.

Jasper looked shocked and said after a minute or two "I thought you hated me because if I hadn't attacked you Edward wouldn't have made us all leave." He blamed himself for my misery? I looked into his eyes for the first time. He looked like a kicked puppy. I got up and went to sit in the chair next to him and took his hand in mine and gave it a little squeeze. I had no idea what possessed me to do that, I just couldn't stand to watch him like that. "Don't blame yourself Jazz. _He_ would have left me anyway, this way _he_ only got an excuse to leave. _He _didn't love me, I realize that now. It was all about him and how he wanted my blood. And control. Control over me. I'm stronger now, tell me what you want to say, just don't feel like it's your fault" I whispered and let go of his hand. He so looked shocked I had to control myself so I wouldn't laugh at him. "Now tell me what you wanted to say."

He took another breath. "Erhm, okay" he said uncertain "We are properly going to see each other a lot since we both are at Dartmouth, but I can go back to take online courses if it will be too much for you, it won't be a problem for me. I'll just stay at home with Rose and Em." Home with Rose and Em? What? Where is Ali.. His wife? And the others? Jasper must have felt my confusion because he said "Rosalie, Emmett and I left the week after we left Forks. Carlisle and Esme stayed awhile, but then left Alaska for England. I don't know about the others, they don't talk to us anymore. But I won't bother you with the past. I came because we, meaning Rosalie, Emmett and I would like to be your friends. Of course we understand if you don't want to, but please keep in mind that we _ALL_ miss you."

Could I be their friend? Could I be able to have their cool marble skin near me? When I had held Jasper's hand it didn't make me panic, it had just felt.. right. _Weird. _Hm, I realized that it was actually the first time I had ever touched him. Once again I had to mentally shake myself. So Rosalie and Emmett were with Jasper, here in Hanover, New Hampshire. Emmett had become like the big brother I never had, but he probably felt like the others because he had also left without saying goodbye. To _them_ I'm just a human toy, something to break when they are bored. Yeah, that's why Jasper is here now, I finally concluded. Just as I was about to say something not so nice to him, he started growling. _What the hell?_ "How dare you even think that? You were never a toy to us! We all loved you. We were and still are heartbroken over you." Jasper gave me a stern look, while I just looked at him strangely. I thought there was only one mind reader in their family? And _he_ couldn't even read my mind!

Annoyed Jasper said "You were talking out loud Bella" Oh fuck. I really spend too much time by myself if I'm talking out loud. "Bella. I know I have no right to say this, but could you please focus?" Jasper said and brought me out of my thinking state before I could go further away into my mind. "Yeah, I'm sorry Jasper. It's just you being here, it brings up a few old memories." Okay, that's the understatement of the year. "But if I'm not just a toy, why did ALL of you leave without saying goodbye? If you _loved_ me, why did you let me fall apart?

After _he_ left me in the forrest everything just went bad. CHARLIE FRIKKING DIED! Shot in Newton's shitty store! And none of you came to see if I was alright! Laurent came BACK AND TRIED TO KILL ME! I almost got killed by Jacob, who apparently is a werewolf, when he phrased to close to me. But as if that wasn't bad enough he had to imprint on Leah! Who absolutely hates me, so now I am no longer welcome in La Push, where I thought I had found a new family. But I am not worthy of love. So tell me how I am not supposed to think, I am not just a toy to you guys!?" It was as if everything I had wanted to say over the past years just came out. I was breathing heavy and tears was falling free, but I continued

"I couldn't even go to a GOD DAMN psychologist because I was afraid I might slip up and say vampire or werewolf! So I wrote a crappy book about you guys! Hoping you'll read it and understand what you did to me! It even became a bestselling book, but noooo none of you had the brains or balls to pick it up and figure out that you broke me!" I couldn't say any more, I just tried to hold myself together.  
I only managed to get "So do you want to kill me now? Or do you wanna play first?" out, and then everything went black.

JPOV

_OH MY GOD! I'm going to kill Alice for not telling us! Shit, Bella BREATHE! _

**(A/N: Small cliffy ;) If it's kind of weird it's cause I was in a silly mood. :D Review and there will be an update soon!  
XOXO DamnULulu)**


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N: I am sorry I haven't updated for a while, but I have writers block! Stupid ****! Erhm, well, next subject. I thought I would upload what I had written so far which is not much, but a little is always better than nothing right?  
I got a question from **VampireGirl141995 **asking if Bella and Jasper are going to date, the answer to that is yes. Well, I properly wouldn't call it dating xD But have a little patience, I don't want them to just fall in love from one day to another. I want to have some fun first. (Cue evil laugh) But you will get some J/B in this *cough* *cough* a lot of J/B *cough*  
UH and Thank u for all the reviews! I am happy every time I check my e-mail. … Lol that's just sad. XD But keep it up :D  
And Thank you so much Shon for the last few lines ;D**

**XOXO DamnULulu)**

BPOV

_Oh please tell me I didn't just pass out!_ Crap! Is he still here? "Bella I know you're awake" Yep, he is still here. Slowly I opened my eyes and was met by his beautiful golden eyes that now contained a hit of worry. He was hovering over me on the couch and didn't say anything. Normally it would have made me self-conscious or panic, but Jaspers eyes held me too occupied to do anything or feel anything but contentment. I hadn't felt like that in years.

I had no idea how long I lay there with him hovering before he asked softly "You okay?" I had no idea. He had made me alright by just looking into my eyes and it wasn't because of his powers.. I think. "Did you use your powers?" He looked confused at me "No" The silence came back and this time it was interrupted by my growling stomach. Chuckling Jasper pulled me up and dragged me to the kitchen. "Now what can I make for you Darlin'?" He asked in a southern accent, has he always talked like that? And has he always been this … Godlike?

Focus Bella! "Erm, you don't have to make me anything, Jasper." A pleasant chill went down my spine by saying his name. Huh, weird. "Bella, I was the reason you just passed out. Making you dinner will not only make you feel better, but it will make me feel better too." He said with the most breathtaking smile.

_Empath, remember?_ Get a hold of yourself Bella! "Mac and cheese?" I said **(A/N: I got no idea what Mac and cheese is** **XD)** "Mac and cheese it is then!" he said and started looking through my kitchen for the things he would need. "Have you ever made Mac and cheese before Jasper?" I asked, trying to talk about something light. "Or even made a human meal?" I added trying to keep the amusement from my voice, not doing a good job at that I might add.

"Laugh all you want miss Swan, but when you have tasted this little piece of heaven I'm making you'll laugh no more" He said with a spoon wavering as if it was a sword. That was it I started laughing so much I fell out of the chair Jasper had placed me in. Luckily Jasper caught me before I fell to the ground. My laughter died when I noticed how closes we were. His hands on my hips and my hands on his chest. I looked up at him through my lashes.

He was smiling and I couldn't help but to raise my head and smile back. Staring into his golden eyes that were so like _his_, I prepared to feel the hole in my chest open up again…but it didn't. In surprise I laughed out loud and his expression became confused until he began to laugh as well.

He set me back up on my feet and the moment was gone. I sat back at the table and he turned to the stove still chuckling quietly. "I forgot how different you are Bella," he said then, "you never react the way I expect. And that's hard to do considering my talent." I smiled at the table as I traced the grain of the wood. "So how have you managed here by yourself Bella?" he continued.

"It's been…hard…" I said a bit lamely, that didn't even cover half of it. Could I tell him how broken I had really been?

**That's all I had. If you have any ideas of what should happen next I would love to hear them…. Even if it's just that you want Emmett to do a happy dance XD **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for all of your kind reviews! And thank you for telling me what mac and cheese is XD It sounds kind of nasty =D And thank you for your suggestions. Please keep it up ;D **

**Okay in this chapter I shifted between POV a lot, but it didn't work otherwise. :/ **

**Review and make my day !**

**XOXO DamnULulu**

"_It's been…hard…" I said a bit lamely, that didn't even cover half of it. Could I tell him how broken I had really been? _

**BPOV**

Jasper waited patiently while I was thinking. I couldn't tell him without breaking once more. Could I? Even if I told him, then he would probably blame himself. I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Jasper, but I'm not ready yet. I hope one day when I'm ready, you'll be there to listen." But I wanted him to know what I had been through I just couldn't talk about it yet. Maybe he could…

No he probably doesn't want to. "Bella, I know you want to say more, just say it darlin'." I bit my bottom lip nervously. "I .. erh. I kinda wrote a book about what happened and if you want to I could get you

a copy?" I spoke fast and mumbling, nervous that he might laugh at me. "You wrote a book? Wow, well I would love to read it doll. But now I think you should eat this heavenly Mac and cheese I made" I couldn't help to smile at him, why wasn't he so carefree back then?

**JPOV **

She wrote a book? About what exactly? And why haven't I read it, or even noticed it? I would have noticed if there stood Isabella Swan as the writer, 'cause I noticed every time the name Bella or Isabella

came up. Well, we all did. Things surely had changed. Emmett didn't smile as much; he just did it because he didn't know what else to do. He had his moments when he was the old Emmett, like the first day I had to go to Dartmouth.

"You okay Jasper?" her question brought me out of my thoughts. "Yeah, just thinking about why I haven't noticed your book. I'm pretty sure I would have noticed if you name was on the cover."

I answered and gave her a charming smile. Her heart beat a little faster at that. "I didn't want the fame, I didn't want people to recognize me on the street. I just want to be Bella, plain old Bella, because I know I am nothing more than that." Acceptance was her strongest emotion right now.

How could she believe that? I look at her in shock. "How can you believe that even for a second?!" I ask outraged, I was about to add something, but she beat me to it. "That's why you left. Because I'm

nothing but plain, boring and _human_. So the way I see it I'm not worthy of the love from The Cullen _Family_." The way she said it was so cold and .. just not Bella. I couldn't make myself focus enough to read

her feelings. I did the only thing I knew to make her feel just how special she was, I kissed her.

It started wildly, it was a kiss filled with raw need and desperation. I wanted her to feel beautiful, wanted and most importantly, I wanted her to feel loved. So I slowed the kiss and made it more

passionate. My hands were on her hips, while my thumps made calming circles on her skin. Her hands were in my hair drawing me closer. I pulled way when she needed to breathe, but didn't move away.

I just stayed close to her with my hands on her hips.

"Don't ever feel that way. You are nothing but plain and boring. You happen to be one of the most amazing people I have ever met, I have lived a long time, met a lot of people, but none of them are even

close to be as beautiful, intelligent or as compassionate as you are. So don't you ever dare to feel that way Darlin'." I said the last part as firmly as I could without scaring her.

She nodded, but didn't say anything. "Now eat the food I made for you, and then we go home to Rosalie and Emmett." She looked at me with wide eyes and was about to say something. "No, darlin'. I'm

not only doing this for you, but for Rose, Em and me. I hate to make this decision without your content, but I promise it will only be this one time." I said

**RPOV **

Where the hell is he? It can't possibly take that long! I know Bella is stubborn, but COME ON! "Rose, hon they will be here soon, so relax and stop pacing you will dig yourself into the ground. Hell there's

already a hole." My ever so direct husband said. I just glared at him and continued to pace back and forth.

Time went by slowly. Emmett just starred at the driveway, while I was lost in thought, would she reject me? I know I haven't been nice to her in the past, but Em said she was very forgiving.

But what if that has changed? Argh! Get a grip, Rosalie Hale does not get nervous because of some human! But then again she's not just _a_ human. She's Bella. Bella, who had the whole Cullen family love

her within ten seconds. Including me.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear Jasper's car come until Emmett said "Babe, she's here."

**REVIEW! Let me know what you think! Uh and I have already written chapter 6, so I'll update soon, I just have to write chapter 7 now. **

**I have a few questions for y'all: **

**Longer chapters? **

**Should I make a playlist?**

**Do you want me to reply every review? I would love to do that, I'm just lazy XD**

**And do you guys want Jake back? **

**Well, that's it review or PM me. Thanks XD**

**Oh, happy holidays =)**

**Xxx DamnULulu**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks for all your kind reviews! **

**Today I have a link for y'all. **http : // www. femalefirst. co. uk / image-library / square / 376 / b / blake – lively – casual – outfit . jpg **I hope it works, remember to remove the spaces between the letters =)**

**Short chapter I know, but I just found it fitting to stop there. I promise I'll make the next couple of chapters longer. **

**XOXO DamnULulu**

BPOV

Oh shit, oh shit OH SHIT! Why did I agree to this? It might have something to do with the beautiful creature sitting next to you, a small and annoying voice said in my head. Who also happened to give me THE most amazing kiss ever.

Douchward kisses were like kissing your own hand compared to Jasper. Okaaay? Where did that come from?

I'm not some bitter old exgirlfriend, well I just accepted that I was not worthy for _him_. But now I was just bitter, huh. I looked over at Jasper, who was driving, did he have something to do with that?

Come on Bella! He has only been back for what? Two days? It's not like… "You okay there Darlin'? I'm getting a lot of heavy emotions from you." Jasper said effectively pulling me out of my thoughts.

I really need to remember he is an empath. "Yeah, just a bit nervous" I answered and added "that's all" Jasper gave me a look that could only be interpenetrated as: BULLSHIT! I smiled sheepishly.

Jasper didn't say anything until we drove up a long drive way and at the end of it was a mansion. Not a house, but a whole mansion.

"They missed you so much, I did too, so be prepared for at least one bear hug from Emmett" He said smiling. Somehow I relaxed seeing that, maybe he used his powers? Naah.

When the car came to a stop, my door was yanked open and I was pulled into a massive bear hug. "BABY BELLS, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEASE FORGIVE ME!" Yup that's Emmett for you. My god I had missed him.

"Emmett?" I said a little breathless

"Yes, baby Bells?"

"I. Am. Human. Need. To. Breathe. Remember?"

"OH" He said and released me, put kept an arm around my shoulders. "I just missed you so much" Emmett actually looked like he would cry if he could. "Aw, brother bear. I missed you too, so 'effing much." I said while giving him a hug.

"I had no one to put blue hair dye in my shampoo." I added remembering that he done that once. It kinda looked cool. Freaky, but kinda cool. Doucheward and the Pixie had been so mad. Emmett must have done it on an impulsive idea, 'cause Alice didn't see it.

But even if I liked it I'm still getting payback brother bear, I thought and smiled evilly. I might have to ask Jasper for a little help.

Emmett started laughing so much he had to use Rosalie to hold him up. Rosalie, oh.

She still looked the same, beautiful and terrifying. A true lioness.

"Still human, I see." She said to me. Time to be a new strong Bella, she would still hate me if I still was weak.

We smiled at each other sweetly. "Still a bitch, I see." I answered with a smirk.

Jasper and Emmett both looked with their mouths open, turning their heads from me to Rosalie. Like watching a really shocking tennis match, but then again; what is the most shocking thing that could happen in a tennis match? They could trip?

"Touché Bella." She said while grinning and then she did something that shocked me. She hugged me! Like a real hug, not just a shallow hug you give to people you don't like, or people who smell. And said "It's good to see you've grown up to be a smart and beautiful woman."

Now it was my turn to stand with my mouth wide open. "Well she's right Darlin'. You look absolutely stunning. Especially in that outfit." Jasper said while his eyes roamed shamelessly over my body. My outfit was a simple pair of skinny grey jeans, a plain dark brown top with a denim vest and a big silver necklace.

No biggie, I always dress like this… okay I might have dressed up a bit. I looked at Jasper, not expecting the compliment he gave me. Blushing slightly I said "Thank you." Then I turned to Rosalie. "And thank you Rosalie."

No need to tell them how beautiful they are, I thought. They already know.

**JPOV**

Alice held nothing on Bella. Alice was beautiful yes, but Bella. Bella is a goddess. And my god she is a great kisser. The kiss was so amazing and … Damn it! I sound like such a girl, I mentally slapped myself.

"Shouldn't we go inside?" I asked trying to think of something else than Bella's lips against mine.

"Sure, I'd love to see your house. It looks amazing from the outside" Bella said.

Rose and Emmett lead the way inside the house, while talking eagerly to Bella about what we should do. I placed my hand lightly on her lower back, my fingers tingled where it touched her. Just the heat difference, yeah, just the heat difference. Keep telling yourself that Major.

She looked at me and smiled. And it was like my dead heart just beat again. She was really breathtaking. "What do you think Jasper?" Huh? "Should we play Guitar Hero or Twister?" she added seeing my confused look.

Twister or Guitar Hero?

**Yes, my dear readers; Twister or Guitar Hero? A bit of touchy feely and angst or just plain old fun and a bit of bonding? Review and let me know. OH and there will soon be some bonding between Rosalie and Bella in the next chapter. Some real bonding =) **

**Meaning, Bella's book will be read and Bella will tell her story. So in the next chapter there is going to be a bit of Edward and Pixie Devil bashing. YAY xD**

**Xxx DamnULulu**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank U GUYS! For all the awesome reviews! Please keep that up my darlings! ;D **

**It came down to 1 vote for Guitar Hero (Yeah that just is funny XD )**

**And I don't know how many votes for Twister! YAY. **

**So here you guys go. Enjoy! **

**XOXO DamnULulu**

JPOV

"Errm, Twister." I said. … I really should have thought that one through. "YEAH, now we can watch Bells fall, like a thousand times!" Emmett said, while huge amounts of amusement was rolling of him. But what shocked me was that amusement was coming from Bella to.

Even though her face was natural. "Brother Bear? Do you want to make a bet?" She said innocently. Is she crazy? Emmett and a bet? Not a healthy mix. This could really go wrong. Rose and I looked at each other, she reflexed my panic and distress.

"Darlin'? I'm not sure you would wanna make a bet with Emmett. The last time …"

"OEY! We're not talking last time. We are talking 'bout me and baby bells making a bet. Now tell me what the deal is Bellsy?" Emmett said with a glint in his eyes. Oh this is baaad.

"If I last longer than you in Twister you have to…. Eat some human food I pick." Bella said with an small smile, trying to look innocent. Not working Darlin'.

"Oh, we are SO ON! If I win, well I really should say, when I win, you have to…" Emmett drifted off while thinking. Oh, Emmett thinking too long does not end well.

"You have to come stay with us for a week!" Okay this might actually end well. "'cause then we can make more bets!" … or not.

Uncertainty washed over Bella. I was pretty sure it wasn't because of the bets Emmett planed on. I shot a bots of confidence to her.

"Bring it big boy!" Bella said. None of us could hold their laughter in at that. Emmett, with vampire speed went to get our Twister game and to set it up, while Rose and I talked to Bella about the house

"Come on! Let's get started already. Oh, the three golden rules are:

No powers

No liking, kissing, biting, rubbing and so on.

And you can tell truths, like: I like to have Hello Kitty tattoo, or your favorite place to have sex, stuff like that, to psyche out your competes. (And Jasper will be able to tell if you're lying, so don't even think about it Baby Bells!)

Let's get started! Alright Rose, right hand on red"

15 minutes flew by and by then Bella had me pinned under her. Her legs were straddling my hips, and her hands were over my head, with other words: I had her boobs in my head. Not that I minded, in fact I liked it too much. And it really didn't help the amounts of lust coming of Bella.

"Emmett and I have broken 652 bed in the past 18 months" … What?! But that more than a bed per day! OMG THAT'S JUST ….. DIRTY! Bella was laughing so hard that her entire body was shaking, and I mean her entire body, especially the body part in front of my head.

Oh, god just kill me now.

"D I R T Y!" Bella said a little breathless. Just my word Darlin', I thought.

"Bella, left hand green." Emmett boomed. That brought her down so we were face to face. Not really an improvement, cause now all I could think about was that kiss we shared earlier. And by how Bella suddenly sobered up from her laughing fit and by the lust coming from her I would dare to say, she was thinking about it too.

I looked into her eyes, her big beautiful brown eyes. I had never understood the real beauty in eyes until that moment. Subconsciously I leaned in closer to her lips, her perfect pouty lips. No! I cannot think like that! Alice already told me that there was nobody that could love "The God of War" she just didn't see it happen, in her vision and in her opinion, besides, Bella was… well Bella, sweet, innocent, loving, stubborn as hell, beautiful. A Goddess.

I turned my head away before I did something she might not like. Disappointment flowed of Bella. Well, she would regret it later. And I would just get bored with her or something like that. It's better this way, yes it is better this way I kept saying in my head.

"I SLEPT WITH MIKE NEWTON!" Bella suddenly yelled.

SHE WHAT? I lost my balance at that and so did Rosalie and Emmett.

"WHAT?" We all yelled at her!

"Erh, well I s l e p t with him, no sex. But it worked! I WON!" She yelled while doing a little happy dance, which was just adorable. NO IT'S NOT, STOP THINKING LIKE THIS DAMN IT!

"Dude you got me scared there for a moment, for come on! Mike Newton?" Emmett said still upset.

Bella just laughed.

BPOV

"Bella can we talk? Just the two of us." Rosalie asked me, once we were inside the house she looked a bit nervous. Huh. Oh no! Please don't tell me you're leaving. I would break, and I'm afraid I can't heal from it this time. Don't please don't do this to me.

Jasper must have sensed my panic because he came behind me and put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to his chest. "Don't worry Darlin', Rose just wants some sisterly bonding. We aren't

leaving until you tell us to, and even then I'm not sure we'll leave." He said with a smile in his voice. Maybe he used his powers, or it was just his touch, but I calmed right away.

I rested my head on his shoulder, which earned Jasper and me an odd look from Rosalie. Well, I was comfortable with Jasper, and apparently so was he with me. I just really wished he had kissed me again while playing Twister. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

My god did he smell good. A bit exotic smell, but also a smell of the woods. I took another deep breath. Ahh, so good. "Okay, if you both a done sniffing each other like dogs, we really should talk Bella" Rosalie said while chuckling.

Was he sniffing me? I looked at him, when our eyes meet, I quickly looked away blushing. I tried to walk away, put Jasper just pulled me tighter. "But Rosie we want to be with Bella too! You can't just steal baby bells?!" Emmett said while pouting.

I couldn't help but laugh, and neither could Jasper, I could feel his whole body shake with laughter. Rosalie just glared at him. "O.. Okaay, maybe you can. But I want her back!" Emmett said.

Rosalie kept starring at him.

"Back soon?" He said weakly.

…

"Aw, Rosie that's no fair. I missed my baby sister! You didn't even talk to her back then"

… The glaring just got more intense.

"Fine. I'll just play with Jasper then!"

"Dude that just sounds wrong" Jasper said.

I was just glad Jasper was holding me up, or else I would have been on the floor rolling around, like a turtle on its back.

Rosalie took my hand and turned to leave. Just one little problem.

"Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"You kinda have to let go, or I can't talk to Rosalie in private, now can I?"

"Oh" He said and reluctantly let me go. I felt a loss as soon as he stepped away. Rosalie lead me to the stairs, just when I was about to step up I got an idea.

"Jasper? Remember what I said back in my apartment? About my book?"

"Yes, doll. You wanted me to read it, right?"

"Yes, so I was thinking, while Rosalie and I talked, you and Emmett could read it. If you want of course"

"You wrote a book?!" Both Emmett and Rosalie said.

"Yup." A short and good answer.

"Tell me what's it called, then Em and I'll go buy some while you two talk." Jasper said

"I wrote under the name; Izzie Eala and the book you should read is called Moonless Night. I wrote some other stuff to, but they are not really relevant. Just Moonless Night. Yeah, so erm, go to my apartment and to my library, there should be a box full of copies. And since you already know how to get in, I won't give you a key. Did I even lock my apartment?" I babbled. Why was I suddenly so nervous?

Probably because they are about to find out how much they actually hurt you, my voice of reason said.

Complete silence….

"I heard about that book. …. OH MY GOD! It's been on the New York Times Bestseller list for 13 weeks as number 1! And it has so many awards, nobody could believe it! You wrote that Bella?" Rosalie said almost in awe.

**A/N: I know I said sisterly bonding in this chapter, but I found it better I stopped here. I promise it will come in the next chapter and maybe a little visit or call from our favorite doctor, I'm not sure yet. Review or pm me if you have any idea of what should happen next. ;D **

**REVIEWS MAKE MY DAY! **

**Xxx DamnULulu**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: COME ON! Review guys! You did awesome last time and now? Almost nothing! I can't write if I don't get reviews, that's how you tell me if you like it or not. Even a smily makes my day. But I also love if you come with ideas. Make me happy? **

**Little sisterly bonding as promised, its short I know but I wanted to update fast and I want REVIEWS! **

**XOXO DamnULulu **

BPOV

Rosalie led the way into a huge room with massive windows. A sunroom. In a house full of vampires, not exactly what I expected. Rosalie gracefully laid down on a grey couch that way bigger than average. Outside there was clouded and it looked like it may rain.

"I know we never really talked before, but" Rosalie started "I need you to know, I need you to understand that I never actually hated you. I just thought … I thought a lot of things, none very pleasant, but I'm not sure if you know that when I was changed Carlisle had found me beat up, lying on the street dying.

My fiancé, Royce was the mastermind behind that, together with some of his friends. They had been out drinking, and I was on my way home from my friend. Erhm, well anyways, Carlisle had intended me to be Edwards mate, since he now had Esme.

And been as charming as Edward is, he insulted me from the first moment I could hear, saying things like I was too vain to be a vampire and to self-absorbed to be a vampire stuff like that. He and I never really got along, but we did our best for Carlisle and Esme. And then suddenly Edward has fallen in love… with a human.

I couldn't see why you were so special, so … right for him. I didn't understand how he could fall in love with a plain human. Someone who could die so easily, or if he turned you, you wouldn't get to experience the greatest pleasure there is. The pleasure of motherhood.

Then he brings you home to meet us, where the chances of you getting killed is higher, and you foolish girl you want to befriend us. Us the monsters! But no, you know what we are and yet you do not fear. You see the human in us and somehow you give us a piece of our long lost humanity back.

When James and his coven came after you, I got mad, because you were putting _my_ family in danger. You were just this average human who just ruined our peaceful lifestyle. And then in phoenix you are so naïve to if you go to James by yourself that it would be over. That he wouldn't torment Edward or the rest of us.

You were so easily manipulated. You had everything and thought James had your mother. But you just didn't get that you had the entire Cullen family at your services, _we_ would have gone after your mother. I don't understand why you would put yourself at risk, you're a HUMAN! And..!"

Rosalie stopped talking, and began rubbing her temples. Maybe she was counting to ten.

"You took your life for granted and that's all I could think about. I didn't see that you loved Edward like I had loved Royce, I didn't see how special you are. So forgiving, so sweet and innocent. But most of all you're brave. You fell in love with a vampire who lusted after you blood more than we others do. You walked into a house full of vampires and your only fear was that we didn't like you. You willingly went to a bloodthirsty vampire, in the hopes of saving your mother and us.

You were willing to die in the place of someone you loved. You love so easily, maybe to easily. But it is what makes you strong. I hope you can forgive my previously behavior and let me be your sister as Emmett is your brother." She finished with a sly smile.

"Rosalie thank you so much for telling me. I can actually understand why you were …. Such a bitch" I said with a smile "As for you becoming my sister" Rosalie fidget and looked really nervous at this. "I'm really scared of you hurting me. Not physically, but mentally. I would love for you to be my sister, just… just don't hurt me." Tears were forming in my eyes at this point.

"We really messed you up by leaving, didn't we? I'm really sorry I didn't try more to prevent it" She said and hugged me tightly. "I promise I won't hurt you. I'll stay until you kick me away. Okay?" I chucked and nodded. I was about to say something when Emmett and Jasper came busting into the room.

"I'M SORRY BELLS! PLEASE FORGIVE ME" Emmett yelled and pulled me into a bear hug and then he started sobbing. I looked over at Jasper who was fuming in the door. Oh. They already read my book.

**A/N: Review and I'll update sooner… I think, I have to write it first XD But review and make me happy and happy means more words! **

**Next chapter will probably be Jasper/Emmett POV while reading Bella's book. If you have any idea, I don't care if you just want them to watch an episode of Gossip Girl, let me know! **

**Xxx DamnULulu **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: YAY! Many review, but please keep 'em coming! :D Someone said in a review it would be cool if Bella had more money than the Cullen's. Hmm, why not? =) Oh And Emmett get's all deep… well as deep as Emmett can get. He's just such a cutie! **

**Oh and I didn't have anybody beta it, so I'm sorry if it just doesn't make any sense XD **

**XOXO DamnULulu**

JPOV

"Dude, what's the deal with you and Bella?" Emmett asked on our way to Bella's apartment in his jeep. "Erm, nothing, well you know… friends." It almost psychically hurt to say friends. I wanted so much more, but knowing that it would never happen, made me want it even more.

"Bull! Don't think me and Rosie didn't see that almost kiss between you and Bella during Twister. Right before Bella pulled that move; I slept with Mike Newton! I gotta admit Bells's good. And she's almost as hot as my Rosie now. Don't you think so Jasper?"

Determination was Emmett's strongest emotion right now, and when Emmett has set his mind on something, he really doesn't give up. Fine I'll play along

"She's beautiful, yes."

"She's way more than that bro, and you know it."

I only nodded in response.

"Soo, when are you gonna put a move on her?"

"I can't do that."

"Dude why not? The Pixie Devil is long gone, and you need some love in your life, well you just need to get laid, but you won't sleep with anybody 'cause you want the love. … or at least that you said the last time I asked. I don't understand why you and Bella just can't hook up. She's hot, you're the ladies man, she's smart, you are like a frikking genius, you both write and so on! You would be perfect for each other!"

"Emmett! No! It just can't work, okay?"

"WHY NOT?!" He roared. What the …. Why was he acting like this?

Em, Alice told me that there was no soulmate for me, that no one could love someone like me. She said she had looked into my future and saw that I would end up miserable and alone. And she's the fortuneteller remember?" there I said it. "And I won't _hook up_ with Bella knowing that I would hurt her." Or her hurting me like Alice did, I added silently

Emmett pulled the car over and got out. "We're here" he mumbled "And Alice is the one who should end up alone and miserable. Cuz face it dude. You are way more awesome than that gnome on crack. And you deserve it. You got away from Maria alive! And you changed! Yes you slipped up a couple of times, but hell you went from feeding everyday to animal blood once maybe twice a week! No one I have ever met deserves love more than you. Well maybe except Rosie, but she already has my love." Emmett said while we entered her library on the second floor through the window like I did last time.

"You find the book, I'll check out her place" Emmett said and ran of the vampire speed. I heard doors open and shut while Emmett ran around Bella's place saying. "Dude" or my favorite "DUU-DE"

I found the box with books quickly. It looked like only three books were missing. I took four books, knowing that Emmett somehow would break a least one. I opened one of the books and read the dedication.

_I dedicate this book to the ones I loved and lost. Dead and Alive. _

Dead and alive? … she means us? The Cullen's? I have a bad feeling about this.

"Emmett we're leaving NOW" I said in a normal tone, knowing he would hear me anyways. He came within seconds looking at me with big eyes. He was feeling awe. "Em?" He didn't answer. "Earth to Emmett! You there?" Still nothing. Fine! Let's do this my way. I bitch slapped him.

"AW DUDE! What was that for?" He yelled. I just glared at him.

"… OH! Erm, well I was looking around, right? And there hangs this awesome painting of a skull smoking! And then I look closer, and it is a VAN GOGH painting! AND! In the garage there are more cars than I own! And there are bikes too! AND! I think she is building one to! AND there's one more thing!" He said and leaned in close "I looked at some papers at some desk and there was like a lot of papers, some from her school. Did you know she is getting A in history ? She like you, nerdy and…"

"Point EMMETT!"

"Oh right well. Bella's loaded! Like really loaded From what I could see in her bank papers she has more money than the entire Cullen family!"

… Damn! I did not see that coming.

"Do you have the books? I want to read it."

"Erm yeah, let go home"

10 minutes later we were home and we both started reading while Rosalie was talking to Bella upstairs.

_There are many ways to kill another human. But the most efficient way is: Love. Love can kill you without any mortal weapon. My name is Joanna and my story begins and ends with my first love. His name was Edmund. Now he and his family were so unlike the others at my school and my hometown that you couldn't help but to notice. I came to love them all as soon as Edmund let me meet them. There was Christian, the father the soul of the family, Elena, the mother and the heart of the family, Annabelle, the little sister and a true Tinkerbelle, Lily, the older sister and ice queen, Eric, the older brother and the goofy clown, Jason, the oldest brother was the quiet and intelligent one. Every one of them so beautiful that it was impossible to be true, to be real, to be human. But how could they not be. I remember every touch every laugh shared with them. And then Edmund chooses that I'm no longer worthy to be in the presence of him and his family. Edmund, my love, my life. He took everything I loved and cared about, everything was gone within what felt like seconds. I tell you my story because no one should feel the pain I do. _

And she told me the story alright. She told about how she had gone into "Zombie state" as she called it. She told about Jake, her sun and how he treated her after he imprinted. Yes, she told we were vampires and about the werewolves. She changed a few things about appearances, but not the emotions that ran through her. And damn, she make me feel everything that she went through by reading this.

And the part about Charlie just made me sob and I wasn't ashamed of that.

_My father, my idol. You were there through everything, you were my rock. The only person who loved me for me, how can you not be here anymore? I don't know what I will do without you. You were so strong and amazing. I'm sorry that in your last months with me was… terrible. I put you through such pain, when I should have been the good daughter you deserve. For that I'm sorry Dad. The world and I have truly lost a person with a pure good heart. You will never leave my mind or my heart. I hope you're at peace now. I love you with my entire being Dad._

And just as Bella had enough pain in her life, Victoria comes. She actually starts torturing Bella, but being Bella, Bella finds a way out. Victoria and Bella makes a deal. HOW COULD SHE?! I ran upstairs the same moment as Emmett. He just starts sobbing into Bella's embrace. She looks over at me confused, but when she takes in my appearance she realizes what's going on.

"We need to talk Bella" I said in my Major voice.

**A:N/ I actually started crying while writing the small piece about Charlie. Know me and you know I don't cry easily. **

**Well, erh whatca think about it? Too much drama ? Or not enough? And I wrote the beginning of the book just to let you guys get a feel of it. It's not very good I know, but hell this is just for fun, right? **

**Review and let me know if you love it or hate it :D**

**Xxx DamnULulu**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS! And thank you May for being the best friend a girl can have. :* Love you hon **

**XOXO DamnULulu**

**We need to talk, **

Well, no shit Sherlock, as if I didn't see that one coming. "What's the deal between you and Victoria?" Jasper asked through gritted teeth. "What deal?" Rosalie asked confused being the only one who hadn't read my book. Emmett went to hug her while Jasper started to talk. "Bella's book ends with:

_Victoria's red eyes were filled with such a pain, a pain that only can be caused by heartbreak. "Ed.." I took a painful shaky breath. "Edmund left because he no longer loved me, none of them really did. I would rather be in your place. A place where you can blame someone for the pain you feel. I can't do that knowing that they are still out there, probably laughing their ass off thinking about the pathetic human they left in Forks. James is dead and right now I'm the only one to blame, to take revenge out on. But I ask you this: Can you kill the only person who might actually also is the only one who can understand the pain you're going through?" I said not as firmly as I had hoped, but when she didn't say anything I continued "Kill me and put me out of my misery or … Make a deal with me."_

Jasper quoted from my book. "That's the last line in the book. And seeing that you are still alive, I guess you made a deal. Tell me Bella, what the hell is the deal with her and what on earth were you thinking making a deal with a bloodthirsty vampire!" He yelled the last part at me. Anger ran through me. "How dare you yell at me?! I did what I had to do to survive! You guys LEFT ME so I couldn't hope for you to come and save me like you did from James! AND BESIDES YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE DEAL IS! SO DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME!" I stood inches away from his face and my god I wanted to slap him … or kiss him. Damn it! Why did he make me feel this way?

"Tell me! What is the deal?!" Jasper spoke in a low cold voice. And to my surprise I wasn't scared. I somehow just knew he wouldn't hurt me. "It's none of your damn business Jasper!" I retorted. I had planned on telling him, but now? He was acting so! Argh! It's not like the deal is something major. It's just a deal, small deal that doesn't mean anything. But apparently Jasper did not see it that way. I just glared at him, waiting for his next move. No one said anything for… I don't know how long. Suddenly Jasper started growling. My god I wanted to kiss him and the growling did so not help. Jasper then smirked and leaned in. Our noses were now rubbing.

I wanted to close my eyes and just enjoy his closeness. "Tell me" Jasper said in a low seductive voice "Tell me what the deal is Darlin'" my heart skipped a beat when he said; Darling. Only Jasper could make that word sound like pure sex. His finger made slow circles on my arm. Every little touch made my shiver, not 'cause I was cold. It was all Jasper, his touch, his smell, his voice and that sexy southern accent. "Tell me" He whispered while keeping eye contact. Why don't I just tell him? I could tell him, it's no big deal. He just wants to know. Yeah, I can tell him.

NO! He's acting like a jerk. I don't want to tell him. I took a step back and shook my head. I would not let him get his way. Rosalie and Emmett were leaning against the wall while holding hands. "Em, I have not had time with you yet. What do you say, should we dump this old hag" I gestured with my head towards Jasper "and go to get some food for the human? Or do you wanna go Rosalie?" I said hoping to get out of the room without Jasper, 'cause if I stayed I would do something I or probably he would regret.

"Sure baby Bells! Uh and then you can grab an overnight bag and stay here. So what do you want to eat? Some smelly McD food or are you a health freak now, cuz you are getting kinda freaky skinny. I can see your bones Bells, I don't think that's healthy for a human. Is it Jasper?" Emmett said and looked confused at the last part. What? I'm staying? And I'm too skinny? Everybody was now looking at my body. I couldn't help the blush that appeared on my face. "Brother bear, I'm not staying?" I said it like a question. I didn't say earlier that I was staying, did I?

"But…" Emmett says and pouts. "Pleeeeease! For me! And Rosie! And I promise I'll make Jasper behave if you stay! Please!" I couldn't help but to laugh at him. I had a feeling that no matter what Emmett said or did, Jasper would not behave. He just didn't take orders, well at least that's my impression. "Okay Em, but I'm taking one of my cars back here. Let's go." I said and started walking outside. "Wait, you have more than one car?" Rosalie spoke up for the first time. I was about to answer, but Emmett beat me to it. "We didn't tell you? Bella's LOADED! And I mean L O A D E D! She has more money than the entire Cullen family together. And the cars she has! Uh Rosie you are gonna love them! OIY! Why don't you two go? And me and Jazz will play some Need for Speed." Well that's Em for ya. Honest to the bone.

Rosalie and I went and got some pizza for me and then went to my place to get some clothes. We were in my bedroom getting my clothes. And we talked like we had been friends our whole life, so when she stopped talking in the middle of a sentence I looked at her oddly. "Get behind me Bella" She whispered only loud enough for me to hear. I did as she asked. "Show yourself!" Rosalie hissed. There was silence for a long time. And then someone stepped into the room.

"Hello Bella"

**A/N: I fucked up! When I wrote last chapter I acted on an impulse regarding the deal with Victoria, that's why I took so long to update! 'Cuz I had no idea what the hell the deal should be. But I think I have made it clear that it's no big deal. :D And now I leave you guys with another cliffy, I'm evil I know. Review and leave your guess at who it is and tell me what you think of the chapter! I'll update sooner if I get MANY reviews :D **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: LOVING THE REVIEWS! And please, if you have any idea to what the deal is between Bella and Victoria is, let me know! Love you guys! **

**XOXO DamnULulu**

"_Hello Bella"_

BPOV

"Jake?" I said and peeped out from behind Rosalie. "You know this _dog_ Bella?" Rosalie hissed out through gritted teeth. Jacob ignored Rosalie and said "Still a leech lover, I see. Tsk I thought you knew better by now. Oh, well maybe next time they leave, you'll end your life so the zombie doesn't come back.

Because this time, I won't be there. Nobody will." He said it all with an evil glint in his eye. There was no trace of my Jake, my sun. I took a deep breath. I'll not let him see me cry this time. I'll not show how much every word he said hurt so much. "What are you doing here Jake? Besides trying to make me cry." I said in an up giving voice. Rosalie had stayed behind me in a defensive stance and hadn't said a thing.. If you don't count growling.

"I came because there have been four vamps in Forks, none of this would concern you, but since apparently every leech loves you, I thought I'd come and tell that all of the vamps have been in your father's old house. We only recognized two of the four. And I believe you know one of them very well. I don't know about the other, but hell you probably know that one as well. Anyway I came to give you a heads up." He said while looking at his nails.

It was silent for a few minutes and then Rosalie said, well rather hissed "Well say who the fuck it was?! And how you recognized the smell _dog_" Jake chuckled. "Easy there Blondie, wouldn't want to break a nail or something." He said still with that glint in his eye.

"Edward was there, he's a part of your little _family _shouldn't you know he has been there?" He paused, "As for the other one, we recognized it because it's not the first time she has been to Forks, actually she was one of the first vampires I met. Well not met, but you know what I mean. She has this wild red hair and…" he stopped talking when I took a sharp breath.

"Victoria" I said, but it's not time yet. What is she doing there? "Why doesn't that surprise me?" Jake said. "Well, since you know all I know about the subject I will leave you two… lovebirds alone." He started walking away. I quickly ran to him and put my hand on his arm. He turned and looked me in the eye. We stood like that for awhile. And for a while I had my Jacob back, my sun, my hope. He starts walking away again.

"I'm sorry" I said to his back "I'm sorry for not loving you the way you wanted me to love you. I think you could have made me happy, more happy than Edward was ever able to. But we were never meant to be together, you and I, you were meant to be with Leah. And I'm okay with that, I only wish you could still be my Jake. The Jake who brought light and hope into my life. You were like my own personal sun, now you're my personal tormentor. I loved you Jake, maybe not the right way, but I loved you and I still do. Treat me like shit all you want, but I'll never forget _my_ Jake."

He stood frozen for a few moments and then left with the words "Take care of her for me Blondie"

RPOV

Bella just stared at the door that the dog walked out of. I let her alone, she needed to absorb all of this. I packed two suitcases full of clothes for her, she was no longer staying overnight. She was staying until we knew what the hell was going on and if it was safe for her to be on her own. I made sure I had packed her wallet and toilet stuff for her. I lead her to the car, none of us saying a thing. What could I say? Sorry The Dog's an idiot? It's in his nature?

Maybe I should ask about her and Jasper? They look so good together. I've never seen Jasper smile so much as he did during Twister. And when he got mad at Bella because of that deal! He has never reacted that way to anything. He's always in control of his feelings. Well, maybe not the blood thirst back then, but now?

He's always in control. And the way they smile at each other, my god they almost glow, like literary G L O W. Yes I could ask her about Jasper, just to take her mind of The Dog for a few moments.

"Soooo…" I said to break the silence. "What's going on between you and Jasper?" OH FUCK! Not the thing to say! Because Bella just started to cry and sob uncontrollably. Oops? I took her hand, trying to soothe her. But I knew that there was nothing I could do now. Jasper was the only one who could. Not because he's an empath, but because he's Jasper and so much more to Bella, she just didn't know it yet.

I speed up and texted Jasper: Problem, we'll be home in five.

BPOV

I felt cold arms surround me, but barely registered it. All I felt was numb, 'cause I knew Rosalie and Emmett would leave. And Jasper. That was the one that hurt the most. Surprisingly. But they would leave, no matter what. 'cause that's what people in my life do. Leave or die. They knew I was worth nothing. So I let the darkness and numbness take over. Why wait for it to happen? It's bound to happen anyway. Right before it all consumed me I heard a faint cry for me. Who would even be upset if I just.. died?

**A/N: SORRY! I know it's short! But I was banned from the computer! It suck to be 16 and not to have your own computer. Well anyways, I don't think I'll update this weekend, 'cause I'm having a party and I'll probably be to hangover to write anything good. (: **

**UH, I have a question. Should we hear from Carlisle and Esme yet? Or is it too much too soon? It could be only the Hales that hear from them, you know.**

**Well anyways review and give me ideas? **

**Xxx DamnULulu**


	12. AN:

Okay, so I was thinking if I should stop this story, because I have read so many alike and I started to doubt if you guys wanted me to continue this story. All of your reviews have been great and nothing but encouraging and I know it might be kinda silly that I'm doubting, but hey everybody is allowed to doubt themselves sometimes, right?

And I know I have been an idiot to update, so I was thinking (again, WOW!) that I will write at least 6 chapters before I update so I can update more regularly. Whatca say?

**Review or PM to let me know if I should continue the story.**


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